A little extra Disney Magic…

DISCLAIMER – THIS POST DISCUSSES PREGNANCY LOSS, BLOOD, GRAPHIC CONTENT.

This story is not for the faint of heart, and certainty only for those with a loving and understanding heart. This story is a real story, that effected multiple lives, and does not deserve judgement or cruel comments.

ONLY read on if you are willing to have an open mind, and respect those this story effected.

This is the story of Hudson Wayne, and his Rainbow Sister Sydney

Sydney is the day 3 green Rainbow Baby for our National Rainbow Baby Day Project!

Her Mother Megan has shared with me the story of Hudson Wayne, here are her words:

My Husband and I met in 2010 and after 6 years together decided it was time to expand our family from two doggies and add a baby in. Those close to us know our favorite place in the world is Disney World. After a typical vacation to “our spot” we were ecstatic to discover we had brought home a little extra Disney magic with us. We were so excited to say we were pregnant with our first little baby! We didn’t have any issues getting pregnant rather quickly. Like any new mother I made that first nervous call to the doctor’s office to announce I was pregnant and would need to be seen for my first official visit. Any Columbus native knows the offices here make you wait until you are 8-10 weeks along before they will see you…. sadly it seems that this is a filtering system (false positives, early miscarriages etc…) I made it to my initial visit and wow the sudden rush of emotions you feel having the baby tucked inside you confirmed! We got our first ultrasound done and see our little gummy bear floating blissfully around inside; a strong fast heartbeat. My husband and I started taking bets on if this little bean would be a boy or a girl, no fears at all of what might come. At 16 weeks pregnant we decided we just couldn’t take it a minute longer and decided to pay a visit to Sneak Peak a private ultrasound clinic so we could finally see how won the wager. My money was SET on this babe is a girl and my husband swore it was a baby lol. After what seems like hours the tech announced IT’S A BOY! WE WERE HAVING A BOY! We raced to the car and started calling the parents. The next 4 weeks we started eagerly buying pieces of clothing, furniture, and even painted a coat of paint on our little man’s nursery.

Here is where our story will take a turn… around the start of the 19 week mark I started to notice a new set of “pregnancy symptoms” that just didn’t seem to fit with what I had read or been told by fellow mommies. Everyone shares “oh I had X, Y, Z with my son or daughter, but this felt different. I made a few calls to my doctor’s office and questioned my nagging feeling inside of me. The phone nurses assured me “oh it’s just first-time pregnancy” / “a worry-wart”. Sadly, I was lumped in with what to them felt was “standard Pregnancy issues” and my baby paid the price. I was sitting in a training for work and felt a LARGE object start to pass from inside. I raced to the bathroom and discovered a glob of discharge the was alarming (we all know pregnancy can bring all sorts of fun things, but this was way larger than the norm). I dialed the nurses up yet again and was told “discharge is normal in pregnancy”. I went back into the training and tried to ignore still persistent feeling in my gut that something was just not going right. I went home that night and told my husband what happened, and we both tried to remain calm about something we knew every little about. We went to bed Friday night pregnant and none wiser to what would happen the next morning. I woke up to a nagging cramping feeling, I mentioned it to my husband who noted it for me. We worked around the house some and tried to relax. The cramping I had been feeling started to get a bit sharper, so I told my husband my gut is telling me I need to call this in. I called the birth center and told then “I’m 20 weeks pregnant today and I’m experiencing some cramping in my front and back”. I was told drink more water that would solve my cramps, dehydration leads to cramping in pregnant women. I did as was told downed more water and took some Tylenol to try and ease the pain. I told my husband I’m going to take a nice warm shower and see if that helps. It didn’t. I got out of the shower and started to feel a pressure down below that to a not pregnant person could feel like a bowel movement. I sat down to relieve myself and felt a HUGE gush of fluid. My heart instant started racing because I knew I did not pee or poop. I screamed for my husband and in a panic, we called 911 for help. The next 3 hours flew past in a flash. A swarm of firemen and ambulance works come rushing in and race me over to the ER. Because I’m not far enough along in my pregnancy the birthing center instructed the ER to handle me down there. Nurses and doctors come in and run a few tests, a pelvic exam for one (which I am told my cervix is high and closed…) It was not, but in the moment, I did not know any different so a sense of false hope took over me, that maybe we would make it out of this okay. They ordered an ultrasound to check out if maybe a cyst had ruptured, and this had been the source of the fluid gush. The tech for the ultrasound is not like the ones at the doc or the sneak peak location. The screens are turned and its all-serious business, so my husband and I are still in the dark. She completes her test and returns us back to the room in the ER. The wheelchair ride I can feel something leaking and discover blood. The nurses are quick to come in and help clean me up and comfort me. I told them I felt like maybe this time I did need to use the bathroom, so they went to grab a bedside and the moment they brought it into the room they stood me up and I felt something start to come out of me. It was my son… entering this world feet first. I screamed, the nurses rushed to push buttons on the wall and all of a sudden, a swarm of people come rushing in. I was forced to push out a baby I was not ready to deliver. I remember just clenching my eyes as tight as I could in the moment to cope. The OB doctor from the birthing center came rushing in and kicked out the ER doctor. This man would go on to be our hero. I delivered our 20-week-old son sleeping. We never got to hear a cry or a breath from him. They wrapped him in a little blanket and placed in between my legs. I was raced me out the doors and rushed up to surgery for a retained placenta. In that moment laying on the bed being wheeled out of the ER; I had no clue my whole family had rushed to the hospital to support my husband and I. I felt the hands of my father-in-law on my arm as I was rushed past and his words echoing in my head “we love you girl”. I woke up in the birthing center room later and my OB doctor tells me you had a beautiful little boy. He describes him to us; he is perfectly formed for a 20 weeker, has great color etc. And we cannot figure out why he is here and not still in your womb. When you lose a baby, you are given the option to stay in the room and hold your baby. This is something I have prayed no mother ever has to experience. The cold cot they have to use to let your sleeping baby lie in. My mother and sister had raced up from Tennessee and was able to spend those precious moments saying hello and good-bye to our boy. We had photos and a memory box made. Things in the moment that seem so unneeded, until you get home and its all you have left. We had visits to funeral homes and urns to pick out. Should this not have been a car seat?! A CRIB? We went home with just a heart shaped urn, unable to leave my boy. When my time is called, he shall be placed in my arms for us to rest together. Our hero Doctor told us before we were discharged that he would make it his mission to discover what had happened to son. Could it have been genetics/ or a case of Listeria? We went in a few weeks later when time seemed to return. All it took was one test – a Sono Saline Hystogram. Diagnosis- An Incompetent cervix.

Hudson Wayne Wood Born Sleeping September 24^th, 2016. You will always be the greatest loss of my life. My doctor instructed me that the best thing for my body was to wait at least 3 months before green lighting trying again. You might think how crazy it is to want to try again so suddenly after loosing a baby, but until you go through the loss of one, there is no knowing what the feeling of being so desperate to hold a child in your arms feels like. January 2017, by the grace of God, our first month trying we get pregnant again. I’m not sure what would have happened to my mental health if it would have taken us months or even years to get pregnant again. Enter into the World SYDNEY MAE WOOD. Our precious rainbow baby. I’m not proud to say my pregnancy with Sydney was not enjoyable. Fear consumed mine and my husbands every thought. With an Incompetent Cervix the only option to remain pregnant and make it to Delivery is unfortunately a surgery which requires a piece of dental floss like string stitched in a loop around my cervix and knotted closed. There is no guarantee with the surgery, but we had success THREE times and have two beautiful girls and a little boy. I would never trade my kids for the world, but there is a part of me that will always wonder what my Hudson would have looked like or acted like. If he had lived my daughter would never be here and the course of my life might not look like it does now. I wanted to say one thing, never be ashamed for how you feel. Our feelings are valid. Also, this had been the only time I’ve sat down and wrote these words. For 8 years they had only been spoke to a those closest enough to me. But how sad to never share the story of a beautiful 8-year-old boy.

The magic I have seen from this family first hand as their Photographer for the past 6.5 years is truly inspiring. Not only have they gone through one of the hardest things anyone can possibly persevere from, but they have had the courage to continue their family, with 3 more children.

First, there was Sydney…their Rainbow!

I remember the day I photographed her newborn session! I remember brainstorming and discussing setup with my twin just before they came into my tiny little studio in Seymour, Indiana. I remember back then I had no idea the importance and significance of a rainbow baby. Little did I know I would join the club within a year, and be on my own journey for my own Rainbow.