The miscarriage rate for women ages 20 to 30 years old is 9 to 17%; for women ages 31 to 35, it’s 20%. At age 40, the miscarriage rate is 40%, and on average, 80% of pregnancies in women ages 40 and older will end in miscarriage.
Miscarriages are so common, yet not talked about enough. We hide them for fear of shame, or even just because we want to avoid others feeling sorry for us, and the guilt that comes with that. This keeps us from having a support system around us, a band of women who have felt our pain too, and could help lift us up in our time of sadness. Miscarriage can be a traumatic experience that can lead to a range of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Studies suggest that 30–50% of women experience anxiety after a miscarriage, and these symptoms can last up to four months.
Studies suggest that 10–15% of women experience depression after a miscarriage, and these symptoms can also last up to four months. However, some studies suggest that depression can persist for up to a year.
One study found that 18% of women who experienced early pregnancy loss had PTSD at nine months, and another study found that 40% of women experienced PTSD symptoms within three months of a miscarriage.
Of the conditions that are dominant in one sex, those that create the highest burden, such as depression and headaches, tend to affect women more.
AND what are those statistics like if you experience multiple losses in a row?
I think all my rainbow sisters could agree with me that we have our excitement for pregnancy stolen from us! We so want to have hope and look forward to every milestone of our pregnancy, but instead worry about the survival of our child inside us at each one!
If I could only make it to the first ultrasound.
If I could only make it to the genetic screening.
If I could only make it to the 2nd trimester.
If I could only make it to the anatomy Scan.
If I could only make it to the viability week.
If I could only make it to the birth with a living breathing baby.
Then, I will be fine. Everything will be fine.
When others so easily get a baby it makes us feel sour. You can be happy for others getting their baby or their Rainbow, but also sad, really sad for yourself. Both can be true.
And IF we get our rainbow baby, that doesn’t remove the fact that we will be grieving those lost for the rest of our life. No time can pass and make it dull the pain. It feels like yesterday I was longing so desperately for my Rainbow, and now I have just signed him up for preschool.
That ache and pain just stays in your heart.
Today is the day to raise awareness. This could go a long way in supporting women, their partners and families in recovery. Mental and fertility health is so important and could benefit in more research to lower statistics and provide better health care and support. The more it is talked about, and cared about, the more likely research will be done that can benefit others in the future.
When ranked by funding amount, diseases that affect mainly women drop down. They are underfunded compared with the burden.
Migraine, headaches, endometriosis and anxiety disorders, for example, which disproportionately affect women, all attract much less funding in proportion to the burden they exert on the US population than do other conditions.
All women who brave pregnancy loss, and continue to try for their Rainbow baby are mental and medical super heroes. The bravery it takes to overcome and seek out their obstacles with any level of positivity is an absolute triumph. So many women give up after their first miscarriage and never seek out again their Rainbow. The national average being 40%. Even higher after multiple losses.
As we celebrate National Rainbow Baby day we do not only celebrate the beautiful children we have had after loss. We also memorialize those that we lost, and proudly applaud the parents that have endeavored.
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with infertility, or infant loss, or a miscarriage please reach out to them to be a support pillar for them, or do not hesitate to ask for help! I am here if you need someone to talk to privately as well! I will always make myself available to a fellow sister in infertility, and help you navigate through it. <3
Love,
Ashtin
